Ayisha at 2 years old, back in 2002.

I wanted to name her Alisha, initially. But my Harfiyah ustaz said that Alisha meant “shelf” or “para” in Malay. Uhmmm.

Then we were talking a lot about the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)’s most beloved wife, Aisha r.a. and I instinctively knew Ayisha was right. I pray that my Ayisha will grow as inquisitive, as bubbly and as knowledgeable, a fraction of Aisha r.a. was.

My Ayisha is rather cembeng, actually. She was born on the 1st December 2000. I remember telling myself earlier that 2000 was gonna be full of babies, a Golden Dragon year and a millenium to boot too. But Allah has other plans and Ayisha was impatient in emerging.

She’s pretty challenging compared to Aliya who is less complicated, more obliging and quite agreeable. Ayisha wanted things done her way, her colors, her time and her her and her.

She is headstrong from day 1. Remember the drinking milk from syringe by Kak Jun at 2 months old. She is still headstrong today. Unwavering.

Academically, she’s lagging and that worries me to no end. She’s a late baby, I heard myself muttering excuses. At Std 1 when she just turned 6, I was coaching her to read. Spelling was a challenge. I had suspicion of dyslexic but that soon was ruled out. Alhamdulillah. Now, she no longer writes b as a d.

Last year, I taught her Maths and all subjects at night and most nights were unpleasant. This year, I thought she has improved and I thought she needed to learn the techniques that I couldn’t teach in maths that I sent her to a tuition centre. Just for Maths and BM. Aliya needs to go, so I thought she’d tag along too.

On Monday, MrGart reported that the teacher said that she’s lagging and needs to do more maths at home. And I got upset.

So, this week, I thought tuition with Mummy resumes.

Last night. I yelled and I slapped her hand and grabbed her arm. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. She had snoots all over her face. Over a page of addition. My palm hurts today drom slamming the table. My voice got hoarse. The whole street must now know what I sound like, shouting.

This morning. I hugged her. She said that her arm hurts. I said that my palm hurts. And we hugged. I promised to make it up to her. I promised to be better if she would work harder. We hugged.

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